Chance Glance!

Nekocchi
22 Slovakia INFP
A girl who got lost in a nightmare and, using her own blood, she tried to change it into paradise.
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I’m shy, awkward and clumsy. Short somehow-human who loves to hug people but is mostly too insecure to do so. So, cuddles dogs and cats instead.

Likes

Soft thingsDrawingJapanese languagePlushiesWriting

Dislikes

Guilt trippingAnxietyJudgingFightsAggression

Comment History

on 24 Roots

24 Thoughts

Location: Juraventure
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
4
Juraventure 20 United States INFP 592 24C
What is on my mind? Well... A lot of people got on when there was a new thought in the Feed. I just keep thinking what are we looking for? Why do we still come here? eh... I don't know.

I kinda want to talk about art. I'm like struggling with myself of why don't I like my art anymore? So I had a quick look at my old sketches and thought about what I did. I used to watch Youtube videos of artists and somewhat getting on the background knowledge of how they went. So I thought to myself, why don't I pick this up and do this again?

I'm in the middle of watching a video by Sycra Yasin and uh he's talking about his art struggles. And he's talking about his journey with his friend bobmeatbag because they worked together for many years. Bob brought up a point about your relationship with art. That got me thinking about my unhappiness with it and being very hard on myself to a point where it's not fun. So maybe I guess I'm a month late to uh pick on the tips Colanopy, Moonsoul, and Shadow. I remember I was having fun looking back, though it was hard. I do think a lack of focus of what I want to do with art and having this extreme thought, something of having to do with the only way for my life to work is something with art.

Oh yeah... they also talked about environment. Bob talked about he was pretty much a doodler and thought that going to animation school would be a chore and very taxing to him because he wasn't all that serious with doing art. He found out that it was work, but it's manageable and that you are put into a mindset of working and learning. So I also find that being at home is really hard for me to draw because I don't like drawing in my room because it makes me feel lazy and so I draw at the computer which is in the living room. So then there's people and yeah...

I did however signed up for a class. There is this art studio a couple miles from where I live and I basically walk past it everyday. It was after like 3 or 4 months of actually deciding to go there once I just found out what time classes were. So the class is basically everyone is younger than me but that's okay I guess. And I guess it made me see that I do have some skill when it comes to drawing. I donno... sort of there for the environment. I like it.
Location: Shadow
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
0
Juraventure 20 United States INFP 592 24C
This comment is private.
Location: Shadow
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
1
Juraventure 20 United States INFP 592 24C
This comment is private.
Location: Shadow
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
1
Juraventure 20 United States INFP 592 24C
This comment is private.
Location: Juraventure
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
0
Juraventure 20 United States INFP 592 24C
I understand what you are trying to say. When I look back at my old drawings there are some that I like. And I somehow felt frustrated at how did I do that. And I try to think about what I did and I just didn't think. It just only came that way to be. You reminded me of this quote by Ray Bradbury, an author, saying something like "Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity..."
Location: Juraventure
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
5
I feel like I can not draw anything. Well um... I am drawing, just not up to what I like. Though I am maintaining my commitment to drawing everyday, they are dumb doodles that feels as if I've done nothing. And I prefer if I didn't continue at this state because I don't want to waste paper. I wouldn't call it Art Block because I feel that refers to not knowing what to draw. I usually would resort to just drawing figures over the internets. But I somehow feel like my skill has diminished in some way.

Maybe it's just me not putting in enough time to draw since I'm taking only 30 seconds of the day to do a thing. But the reason I do it because I don't know. I usually draw when I'm alone and there is no sound bothering me. And I guess just being depressed is having an effect too.

I did go over to a friend's house impromptu because I was already away from the house for reasons that are off topic. He has been a long time artist that I met in Middle School. I was looking through his drawings and I really like it. I feel like he has a better base, a starter, than me because I guess if your that young you just doodle anything. It ranges from a multitude of genre: Medieval, Apocalyptic, Steam Punk, Cyberpunk, SciFi, Feudal Japan, Modern. And I guess the underlying theme of all of it is some sort of war or military thing. A whole slew of random characters or fanart of some.

Hm.... I asked him what goes in his head when he draws. He told me he usually stops thinking and just sort of does it. I'm uh.. just sort of thinking of drawings that I've done and uh... Yeah... The drawings that I'm relaxed are the ones that I like. Maybe I'm just too stressed out.
Location: Juraventure
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
3
I can not sleep. I'm just being depressed and I dunno.. eh... thoughts? Well I cried of me thinking of things I'm really attached to though it's probably been a long time since I've seen it. Um... So I thought to maybe write something down just to get stuff out of my head. As I was trying to log in I couldn't get my password right. I was doing the usual hand motions for it but it didn't feel right. I dunno... I got scared but it's a good thing I write my password down that I learned from past mistakes.

How do I communicate to what my thoughts are saying? eh.... I shouldn't worry about it and uh... just write...um... I think I want to talk about friends and I dunno... eh... sorry for all the vague ellipsi? eplipseses? my pauses and at times certain sentences not making sense.

um...I guess sitting here for a while at this part... I guess this whole entire thought is on some basis of attachment. Friends okay uh... I don't consider many people my friend but when I do there has to be some sort of emotional attachment from what I'm looking at. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy people that don't have this connection. Just... maybe in this other category of friend that people most see people. um... I feel bad that someone can care for me but I don't feel the same back and then I could build this friendship for a while and then some how I feel like I screwed up or the person doesn't want anything to do with me. I don't know how many times this happened to me but the feeling never gets old.

um... I'm just wondering about me and attaching to people and things. It's like how I function yet at times I feel like it's a bad thing. Me uh... trying to grab on to things that is not permanent. I think I really want something that I can have. Something I can call mine. Just wanting to go against like the truths of life and all that life lesson. Wishing that these something... of life... Wanting to go beyond to human life??? I don't know. Is this an immature mentality to have? I feel lost yet I feel that I always get a guide but then I need to do it alone because eh... sorry for confusing thought.
Location: Juraventure
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
2
Juraventure 20 United States INFP 592 24C
I feel like I took to long to respond, seeing this post I guess two days ago. Um...

My picture feels so old now and it's kinda crazy that more than a year past. um... yeah... I don't mind showing my art work. Though I would need to link to it since I can't post pictures from Facebook. I'll link my Inktober drawings.
∞ LINK ∞
Some I like and most days felt really lazy of me. But I did it with some close to the mark with my semi-appealing art. I do feel like I should draw more though I do daily sketches for more than a year now.
Location: Juraventure
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
4
I messaged an old friend, well a friend that I lost and then found again. It sort of stemmed from conversation and me telling a person maybe talk to an old friend. I know things that can make my life better but I just don't do those things. So I guess since I said it out loud it made me think of myself for a bit and told myself that since you said it, you should follow up on it. And so I did.

From the start of the conversation he confessed to me that he was avoiding me throughout the entire school year. He apologized for acting in such way and hadn't had the courage to tell me this until, I suppose I messaged him. I started crying. He told me the reason why he avoided me was he didn't want to be sad like me. And I imagine that's the reason why he changed classes. And I guess it's been over a year since that incident occurred. I still remember the date.

So we caught up for a little bit and I guess I'll be meeting him tomorrow for lunch to catch up some more in person. I'm still a bit teary-eyed but... erm... it's nice...
Location: Juraventure
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
7
It feels like people still come here for something yet no thoughts or content is actually being created. I feel like I'm bad with words because I don't feel like using 'we' because I don't feel like I'm speaking for anyone. So I guess I feel that people come here still looking for connections? Or find some remnants of something to salvage of what was? I could start with what's been up with me.

Well I guess I've gotten a bit better at communicating over the internet. I actually have had an art page on Facebook for more than a year and I guess I've been regularly posting my work and slowly growing my skills. And it's also a personal blog? what is a blog? Just a place where a person puts down their thoughts on something? Well, if you want to see it I guess just reply or PM me and I'll link the page. I'm also currently doing the Inktober drawing event.