Chance Glance!

23 United States INFP
Just another soul going on a search here. I'm very shy and get lost in my own thoughts a lot. Describing myself is not my strong suit.


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on 3608 Roots

3608 Thoughts

Oh, uh, hello! My name is Nick. I'm rather hopeful that I can meet some pleasant people on this site. It's difficult for me to be outgoing, but I suppose the first step is always the hardest.

I visited my cousins yesterday. We hadn't seen each other since we were children. However, my uncle had married again, and my new step-aunt had two children of her own. Step-cousins!

However, during the entire time we had together, the step-cousins seemed very distant from me. They only talked among themselves, and it was strange how the one didn't introduce herself right away (I had to approach her later. It was uncomfortable.)

Anyway, it's so strange to have complete strangers suddenly become part of the family. I was apprehensive about the entire thing, but I tried to go with the flow, so to speak. The fact that neither of them were outgoing enough to even talk to me more than once put me off. I mean, I act the same way sometimes. Maybe they felt the same way about me? Needless to say, the social chemistry between us was awkward.

Do you usually let the other person talk to you first? I do, but when I meet another person who does the same, neither of us talk and we both get uncomfortable. I mean, the solution is to become the one who starts the conversation, but it's difficult for me to do that.
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101010 17 United States INFJ 469 31C
Apparently teenage boys are not welcome here! Especially boys who are barely teenagers!

"...and all the other sites I use are sites that I made, which are full of teenage boys, which this new site is already more full of than I would prefer."

"At the moment, I am strongly doubtful that this site will turn out to be good for me, because the only people who've joined are teenage boys..."

I suppose I should have known this was going to happen.

But then there I was, all excited and whatnot that this site existed, eagerly waiting to see if I could find any friends through here... and then comes the inevitable passive-aggressive jab from Pseudo.

Am I blowing this out of proportion? Maybe so, but right now I'm too upset to care. Oh look, how immature! Tsk tsk, teenage boys.

Perhaps I should have waited for more people to join before defiling Soultome with my pubescent male presence. Perhaps I should have lied about my age. Perhaps I should have never gotten my hopes up and joined.

And now I've unintentionally cast Soultome's future into doubt in Pseudo's mind. Pseudo, please don't shut down Soultome because of me. Give it a chance. I'm sorry I joined. I'll go back to lurking in the corner of Fig Hunter with all the other teenage boys.

One consolation that I can take from this is that I didn't use my FH name to register. Given my personality types though, I could be tracked down, which isn't exactly a comforting thought. 13-year-old INFJ 4w5-6w5-9w1s aren't too common, are they?

So I have five more years to go before I can finally be accepted. I suppose I'll go back to watching teenage pseudo-intellectuals debate religion on Fig Hunter and ranting to my lonely corner of the internet.

Would it have been any different if I had lied about my age? Pretended I was 20 years old? Could anyone have seen through those lies? Perhaps it would have. Perhaps Pseudo would be eagerly looking forward to more people joining instead of considering "embarrassingly pretend[ing] that the whole thing never happened". Perhaps Pseudo would have stuck with Soultome. Perhaps he would have found friends, found love, and created his dream community. But now it's likely going to go the way of Willow.

Once again, please don't shut down Soultome. Pretend I never existed. Keep faith in Soultome.

I'll shut up now and finish this self-indulgent ramble. Goodbye Pseudo. Perhaps we'll meet again in five years.

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I'm posting something to see if it actually works!
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If you've just got here from deviantART, then hello! Welcome!

Sorry that the site is weirdly empty at the moment (unless it's not when you're reading this, in which case yay), but it's brand new and I've only just begun searching for members! Everything has to start somewhere!

These thoughts are ordered from newest to oldest, and they're about the the site and stuff, so if you're curious to read them, please start at the bottom!

Thank you, and I'm glad you took the time to look!
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Oh, I also want to mention something else.

I'm most well-known as a games developer, and I run a site called Fig Hunter where I show off my games. I often used the blog on that site to talk about my personal feelings... which turned out to be a bad idea, because people were there for games, not to hear me rant or vent.

So I think I'll start using this site as my personal journal of sorts from now on, where I talk about my feelings and such, while I'll keep my games site(s) as places where I only talk about those games. Maybe we'll all be happier that way!
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You're also able to include images in thoughts, if for example you want to show off your art or something. I hope that this doesn't just end up making people communicate using inane memes, though... I'm worried about that, and hesitant to even include this as a feature at all.

Still, currently it does work, as you can see:

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I'd like to ramble a bit about why I made this site, and what's for.

As a very introverted person who's left school, I find it hard to find like minds. I've tried joining other internet communities, but I find it hard to really find meaningful connections because people rarely talk about their inner thoughts or feelings... I avoid Facebook because I essentially have no life, no real world friends (after moving country), few connections, and so on, which would make being on a site that's all about those things highly uncomfortable. I've talked to other people in similar positions who feel the same, and they feel lost and lonely and don't know where to turn.

I've even got so desperate as to try dating sites before, in the hopes of meeting someone I could get along with, but the way that they function isn't to my taste at all. Everyone just writes about themselves in the same way, talking about how 'laid-back' and 'easy-going' and 'fun' and 'sexy' they are and so on, mentioning their introversion apologetically with "I'm shy at first, but I open up!!" if they even mention it at all.

It feels like an extroverted world, anyway, and I for one struggle in it.

Rather than just sitting around moping, though, for the last couple of years I've tried to make websites specifically designed for people who are in this position, as I am. Various reasons (mostly MY PROBLEMS, wah!!) prevented me from really going anywhere with them... but a significant change in my life recently rekindled my desire to run a place like this. And I hope to do a better job of it this time!

The site took its inspiration from dating sites and social networks like Facebook, though I've included features that I personally would have loved to see on those sites while omitting or minimising things that put me off them. It's essentially the sort of place I've always wanted to find!

I just hope that somebody else can get something out of it too!

It's important that people actually write things about themselves, though, and I imagine this might be tricky at first because, well, every community has to start somewhere, and I imagine the first few members will be quiet and hesitant because there won't be much reason to invest time and effort in filling out their profile or sharing their thoughts here with complete strangers...

Still, I hope that we can slowly build up something meaningful that focuses on our feelings, our thoughts... A place where long comments are valued rather than criticised, where talking about feelings or problems is met with support rather than ignored or attacked, and where introversion is seen as a virtue - or at the very least an acceptable way to be - rather than something that needs to be covered with a mask out of shame.

Thoughts don't need to be long, rambling things like this one! Even tweet-length things are fine, if you have something on your mind that you want to share. Ideally, though, you'll focus on what's going on in your mind rather than what you just *did*... so something like "I wonder whether we'll meet aliens in our lifetime" or "It really bothers me when people are rude", rather than "just got back from a wild party lol".

I don't know how many people are actually used to writing out their thoughts in this way, though. I know that I struggle to find other people who do this in the way that I do. I suppose it'll just take time to establish an environment where it's clear what kind of posts are acceptable.

Anyway! Ramble ramble! I'll end this now and maybe open the doors to this place today and hope for the best...!
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This is the very first post on this site! Hooray!

I still have some things to test, then I suppose I'll open this place up to the public... I've no idea how that'll go. I really hope that the site can be of some use to at least someone, but I'm dreading it becoming a ghost town before long. I'll at least try to do my part to make sure that doesn't happen.

I suppose I'll use this thoughts thing myself a bit so then it can serve as an example of what it's meant to be used for!