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Chance Glance!

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on 3605 Roots

3605 Thoughts

SEI 1w9 2w1 7w6 RCUAN AIS MelancholicPhlegmatic
28 Germany INFP 127 89C
This comment is private.
EII 1w2 4w5 6w5 SxSo RLOAN AIE PhlegmaticMelancholic
Smirk 19 Mexico ISFJ 146 11C
I don't get it. The few close people that I know are always up and ready to help me (because I always seem like I am either sad, depressed or whatever [And I guess I am to a certain extent, but I've learned to deal with it]) However, now that I feel as though as if I am about to enter a crisis, they just, kind of, disappear. Now, I am not about to disregard all their attempts in fixing what, to their eyes, needs fixing, although it doesn't necesarilly does, but why is it that, at the first signs of cracks, they disappear completely from my life, as though as if I wasn't someone they've known for a year and then some? I guess I'll have to go through this alone. Again.
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Words... here are words... this is typing... I'm a terrible typist? Typer? tap tap tap... I like writing. It doesn't have to be poems or stories. It feels more natural and the sound of pen to paper. I guess it's the same as drawing. Just me rambling so I get comfortable? I don't know.

Well... I guess I get um... well I'm more comfortable with some sort of instant messaging because it's somewhat quicker and get more... It doesn't make me think as long as if I post something down because I get some sort of response that I can identify with. And I suppose that people like face to face because of hand gestures and voice pitches and facial expressions. I don't know... I'm more nervous and anxious with the typing of stuff and... I guess an upside or something I don't know. Just typing down what I'm thinking right now.

Um... I'm connecting to uh... I just want to not be all scared for some reason. Like there's no reason to be scared because of the voidness of something. The uh.. lackness of people? There isn't any immediate threat I guess? Or anything physical. My dumb ol brain. And I guess thoughts are weird in a way because I'm thinking I don't want to be all anxious and scared over the internet because it's possibly.. um.. I guess something easy? Um... words. uh.. I don't want to be anxious but then I guess that would be out of my 'comfort' zone. And then my brain would say do you really want that? And then I'd be like contemplating on it for a while but then I'm like quiet you brain. Stop making fake stuff.

Is this reading unfocused? Because um... uh... ... I guess I use the triple thoughts for when I'm making pauses. Like in The Declaration of Independence where they drew a colon and a line to signify how long to pause when giving a speech. So.. I guess not confident in myself to just put art in the internet and join a community or something to find I guess a person. And I guess help me in a way for being more comfortable typing and getting better at art.

I don't know. I felt like I wanted this string of words or I don't know what I'm typing. I guess trying to help with activity too? There were other times I wanted to write something but my brain being all poopy and then distracting myself from wanting to do it.
2w1 5w4 9w1 MelancholicPhlegmatic
Moonsoul 20 United States INFP 259 134C
Wow it's been a while. Activity's super low. But it's 2 Am and I guess this is a good place to ramble. My mind's been going miles a minute for a long time. There is no partucular motive behind my rambling.

I graduated high school 3 months ago. Finally. I'm so relieved. No matter how much people told me I'd miss it, I seriously doubt I will. The only nostalgia I get is from a drifting friendship that's been wavering for years. Now I finally think I'm too far to recover much. There's no real reason we drifted, it just happened. I feel guilty sometimes and blame myself, or wonder if I did something wrong. But that's a whole different story, so for now I'm done crying about it, and just need to accept that close friends will drift away. She's going to the same college as me, so I'll get to at least see she's doing ok. I'll just be cautious and keep my distance. Sometimes I wonder if I offended her.

I signed up for my college classes for this fall. I got two art classes, and a writing and math class. I'm excited for it. I want to try to be able to develop confidence and communication with people. I want to make new friends. I have two close friends, but sometimes I feel like I need a new perspective. I've been growing mentally lately, with confidence. Usually when I've tried to grow in confidence in the past, I would stop and backtrack out of fear of my confidence turning to selfishness. But I've been watching people that seem confident but not selfish, so I hope to follow their role.

I've also been thinking alot about intelligence and IQ level. As well as emotional intelligence. I really want to get on a higher mental state, because I know the whole "use it or lose it" thing where it can be harder to expand your mind as you get older, so now would be my time to work on it. I took an IQ test, but Although my score was a bit above average, I still want to see how much more I can go. This is fueled on ambition I guess. Like trying to level a character in a video game.

I've spent my summer by watching alot of anime. I know it's not the best sounding Idea, especially if I want to expand mentally, but some of the things I've been watching are pretty facinating. Like the kinds of stories with enough symbolism and background to have been created by an artistic genius. That's a spot where I'd like to be some day. Like creating complex things and stories. That'd be pretty satisfying.

Well... Thanks if you read that. I could probably go on and on, because I haven't written a thought here in months. But this is getting long. And I'm getting tired.
SEI 1w9 2w1 7w6 RCUAN AIS MelancholicPhlegmatic
28 Germany INFP 127 89C
This comment is private.
This comment is private.
Activity is really low, so I doubt I'll get a response but...
How do I tell a girl that I like her?
I've never done it before... So... I could use some help.
A lot of help.
ILI 5w4 4w5 9w1 SpSx RCUEI IAS MelancholicPhlegmatic
Ryoukai 21 Philippines INTP 549 28C
This is foxface speaking.

It's been a while since I last posted. I didn't really have anything to post, other than getting stressed out with school and getting depressed to the point that I couldn't sleep well at night.

It's very distressing when you're not used to specific situations, mainly social ones. You question why some things have to be done when they seem meaningless.

guess I'm just not used to things. Wish I could resign from being an officer. Too bad I can't. :/

Sorry for the slightly sad thought.
Aww... Crap.
I think I might be falling in love again.
I'm not ready yet.
I need more time.
Eugh. Feelings are weird and very inconvenient as it turns out.
Pseudo, please don't let this place die!
Most of the people I had contact with already left, but I still want to stay.

Please fix this and people will start coming back.
Don't give up just because of one hacker!
This is your site, YOUR community!!