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2017

on 3604 Roots

3604 Thoughts

EII 2w1 9w1 7w6 SpSo rLUAI IAS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Talindra
5
Talindra
25 France INFP 297 229C
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EII 2w1 9w1 7w6 SpSo rLUAI IAS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Talindra
2
Talindra
25 France INFP 297 229C
I haven't been on the site for months because my landlord and landlady made no effort with the Internet, and my neighbor and I had no access for 4 months. But it doesn't matter.
My neighbor got a subscription for us to share, and I've have had the Internet for 3 days now. I'm posting a short Thought right now, instead of the long return Thought I had planned for this week end. But it doesn't matter.

What matters is that, right here, right now, I feel sick to my guts, my stomach has narrowed, I wanna puke, I hate everything and I wish I could just snap my fingers and be teleported right into the life I dream about in Los Angeles, in a decent house, with good friends, a wife, and a career as a professional scriptwriter and director without a worry in the world, in a country that's mostly safe. But I can't, now, can I? And I'm stuck here in France, in this crappy country in which I don't own much, but it would be enough, if I hadn't just been stripped away from my sense of safety.
And, yes, I'm definitely referring to the brand new multiple, simultaneous, terrorist attacks we've been facing in Paris tonight. F.U.C.K.


My family's fine, by the way, they all live in other regions or in the suburbs, and, as far as I know for now, all of my Parisian friends and friends who live in the suburbs like me but might have been out tonight seem to be fine (no one dead, no one wounded, HOPEFULLY!).
So it definitely could have been worse, you know... but it's just that... it's horrible. All those people died, we don't know why yet (I mean, while I obviously disagree with the Charlie Hebdo killings, at least, there was some logic behind those murders, you know?), we don't know what's going on, how many dead, whether the army got rid of all of the assailants yet, we know a little, but not that much, and not knowing anything for sure is terrifying. The great unknown...


Plus, there's this whole state of emergency the President has declared, it's extremely serious, and this feels very scary as well.
I guess I'm a little angry, very disgusted, and quite scared as well, although I'm not scared for my own life since I live in the suburbs and didn't here any gunfire or anything like some of my friends who live in Paris, and since, as of now, none of my friends or family members seems dead or wounded, I think everybody's fine, but it's still scary.
We're not safe from gunfire or explosions in our own country anymore, attacks have occurred, but we don't know why just yet, and, also, we can't possibly have any idea of what the future may hold in terms of future attacks.
2w1 5w4 9w1 MelancholicPhlegmatic
Moonsoul
3
Moonsoul 20 United States INFP 259 134C
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IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
4
I messaged an old friend, well a friend that I lost and then found again. It sort of stemmed from conversation and me telling a person maybe talk to an old friend. I know things that can make my life better but I just don't do those things. So I guess since I said it out loud it made me think of myself for a bit and told myself that since you said it, you should follow up on it. And so I did.

From the start of the conversation he confessed to me that he was avoiding me throughout the entire school year. He apologized for acting in such way and hadn't had the courage to tell me this until, I suppose I messaged him. I started crying. He told me the reason why he avoided me was he didn't want to be sad like me. And I imagine that's the reason why he changed classes. And I guess it's been over a year since that incident occurred. I still remember the date.

So we caught up for a little bit and I guess I'll be meeting him tomorrow for lunch to catch up some more in person. I'm still a bit teary-eyed but... erm... it's nice...
RLOeI MelancholicSanguine
Prabe
7
I accept people the way they are, be genuine and kind to them.
because I know that someday they would do the same for me.
I know that some people think I am stupid for doing this, but I don't care because this is what I believe in.
I know that not everyone would do the same for me, but it's okay.
EII 6w5 2w1 1w9 SxSo SLOAI SRI MelancholicPhlegmatic
CruxCrusis
6
CruxCrusis 24 United States ISTP 621 15C
Wow it has been a long time since I've been able to write here again. So much has happened, I'm having trouble figuring out where to start. Okay well I guess i should start at the most important event that has greatly changed my life for the better. I have finally found someone, That's right I am now in a relationship. (I know I'm still wrapping my head around it myself) and it has been a truly wonderful experience. We have been together for going on five months now and it has been among the best months of my life, without a doubt. But with this grand turn of events, issues and differences have followed. For a majority of my life I have found my personal space (my home, my room etc.) to be my place of solace. A sanctuary of peace, a reprieve from the social world, ie. family gatherings, school, and work. But now that I am involved with someone, I am sharing this space that used to be my own and it is a little weird getting used to it. Don't get me wrong I love my girlfriend to death but it is just strange to have her in a place that I have used for the longest time as an escape from the judgement and roles of the social world. I love her though so I am willing to work around the weirdness until I can get a handle on it.
On another note. I have also finally landed myself a good paying steady job........ after going through one of the worst bouts of job seeking I have ever had the misfortune to undergo. Long story short, I had to go through four different jobs in the last nine months, that is more jobs I have had to go through in more than five years. It was insane, but the upside is I learned a great deal about the wonderful world of social economic disparity and how I never wish to experience it ever again. I also learned how to better deal with people as a whole and how to defuse situations before they get out of hand, instead of falling back on my old bad habit of trying to explain everything and make the person knows what is true and what is a load of crap. Instead I have learned to Quote "Smile and Wave" and it has really done wonders for my career.
Well I would love to talk more but Duty calls until next time my friends.
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
7
It feels like people still come here for something yet no thoughts or content is actually being created. I feel like I'm bad with words because I don't feel like using 'we' because I don't feel like I'm speaking for anyone. So I guess I feel that people come here still looking for connections? Or find some remnants of something to salvage of what was? I could start with what's been up with me.

Well I guess I've gotten a bit better at communicating over the internet. I actually have had an art page on Facebook for more than a year and I guess I've been regularly posting my work and slowly growing my skills. And it's also a personal blog? what is a blog? Just a place where a person puts down their thoughts on something? Well, if you want to see it I guess just reply or PM me and I'll link the page. I'm also currently doing the Inktober drawing event.
EII 1w2 4w5 6w5 SxSo RLOAN AIE PhlegmaticMelancholic
Smirk
5
Smirk 18 Mexico ISFJ 146 11C
I feel so lost right now, I forgot which people I trust and which I don't. I kind of just want to go to sleep and not wake up until whatever it is that is making me 'lose it' goes away.
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
3
This comment is private.
SEI 1w9 2w1 7w6 RCUAN AIS MelancholicPhlegmatic
Falco
5
Falco
27 Germany INFP 127 89C
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