Chance Glance!

Nekocchi
22 Slovakia INFP
A girl who got lost in a nightmare and, using her own blood, she tried to change it into paradise.
----☆----
I’m shy, awkward and clumsy. Short somehow-human who loves to hug people but is mostly too insecure to do so. So, cuddles dogs and cats instead.

Likes

FanfictionPetsDoctor WhoCatsBritish TV shows

Dislikes

ConfusionAggressionResponsibilitiesStressMisunderstandings

on 3605 Roots

3605 Thoughts

IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
4
Juraventure 20 United States INFP 592 24C
What is on my mind? Well... A lot of people got on when there was a new thought in the Feed. I just keep thinking what are we looking for? Why do we still come here? eh... I don't know.

I kinda want to talk about art. I'm like struggling with myself of why don't I like my art anymore? So I had a quick look at my old sketches and thought about what I did. I used to watch Youtube videos of artists and somewhat getting on the background knowledge of how they went. So I thought to myself, why don't I pick this up and do this again?

I'm in the middle of watching a video by Sycra Yasin and uh he's talking about his art struggles. And he's talking about his journey with his friend bobmeatbag because they worked together for many years. Bob brought up a point about your relationship with art. That got me thinking about my unhappiness with it and being very hard on myself to a point where it's not fun. So maybe I guess I'm a month late to uh pick on the tips Colanopy, Moonsoul, and Shadow. I remember I was having fun looking back, though it was hard. I do think a lack of focus of what I want to do with art and having this extreme thought, something of having to do with the only way for my life to work is something with art.

Oh yeah... they also talked about environment. Bob talked about he was pretty much a doodler and thought that going to animation school would be a chore and very taxing to him because he wasn't all that serious with doing art. He found out that it was work, but it's manageable and that you are put into a mindset of working and learning. So I also find that being at home is really hard for me to draw because I don't like drawing in my room because it makes me feel lazy and so I draw at the computer which is in the living room. So then there's people and yeah...

I did however signed up for a class. There is this art studio a couple miles from where I live and I basically walk past it everyday. It was after like 3 or 4 months of actually deciding to go there once I just found out what time classes were. So the class is basically everyone is younger than me but that's okay I guess. And I guess it made me see that I do have some skill when it comes to drawing. I donno... sort of there for the environment. I like it.
Shadow
5
Oh yeah, don't know is this quite late(it is), but.......

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
Shadow
3
This comment is private.
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
5
I feel like I can not draw anything. Well um... I am drawing, just not up to what I like. Though I am maintaining my commitment to drawing everyday, they are dumb doodles that feels as if I've done nothing. And I prefer if I didn't continue at this state because I don't want to waste paper. I wouldn't call it Art Block because I feel that refers to not knowing what to draw. I usually would resort to just drawing figures over the internets. But I somehow feel like my skill has diminished in some way.

Maybe it's just me not putting in enough time to draw since I'm taking only 30 seconds of the day to do a thing. But the reason I do it because I don't know. I usually draw when I'm alone and there is no sound bothering me. And I guess just being depressed is having an effect too.

I did go over to a friend's house impromptu because I was already away from the house for reasons that are off topic. He has been a long time artist that I met in Middle School. I was looking through his drawings and I really like it. I feel like he has a better base, a starter, than me because I guess if your that young you just doodle anything. It ranges from a multitude of genre: Medieval, Apocalyptic, Steam Punk, Cyberpunk, SciFi, Feudal Japan, Modern. And I guess the underlying theme of all of it is some sort of war or military thing. A whole slew of random characters or fanart of some.

Hm.... I asked him what goes in his head when he draws. He told me he usually stops thinking and just sort of does it. I'm uh.. just sort of thinking of drawings that I've done and uh... Yeah... The drawings that I'm relaxed are the ones that I like. Maybe I'm just too stressed out.
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
3
I can not sleep. I'm just being depressed and I dunno.. eh... thoughts? Well I cried of me thinking of things I'm really attached to though it's probably been a long time since I've seen it. Um... So I thought to maybe write something down just to get stuff out of my head. As I was trying to log in I couldn't get my password right. I was doing the usual hand motions for it but it didn't feel right. I dunno... I got scared but it's a good thing I write my password down that I learned from past mistakes.

How do I communicate to what my thoughts are saying? eh.... I shouldn't worry about it and uh... just write...um... I think I want to talk about friends and I dunno... eh... sorry for all the vague ellipsi? eplipseses? my pauses and at times certain sentences not making sense.

um...I guess sitting here for a while at this part... I guess this whole entire thought is on some basis of attachment. Friends okay uh... I don't consider many people my friend but when I do there has to be some sort of emotional attachment from what I'm looking at. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy people that don't have this connection. Just... maybe in this other category of friend that people most see people. um... I feel bad that someone can care for me but I don't feel the same back and then I could build this friendship for a while and then some how I feel like I screwed up or the person doesn't want anything to do with me. I don't know how many times this happened to me but the feeling never gets old.

um... I'm just wondering about me and attaching to people and things. It's like how I function yet at times I feel like it's a bad thing. Me uh... trying to grab on to things that is not permanent. I think I really want something that I can have. Something I can call mine. Just wanting to go against like the truths of life and all that life lesson. Wishing that these something... of life... Wanting to go beyond to human life??? I don't know. Is this an immature mentality to have? I feel lost yet I feel that I always get a guide but then I need to do it alone because eh... sorry for confusing thought.
EII 1w2 4w5 6w5 SxSo RLOAN AIE PhlegmaticMelancholic
Smirk
4
Smirk
18 Mexico ISFJ 146 11C
When someone one cares for has an issue, and one 'knows' they have it, and one has asked them about it, but they do not tell one, it scares one. It scares one because it can mean two things. Either they do not trust one enough to tell them their issue, or one 'is' the issue. All I wish is for her to be happy, but it's kinda hard to help her be happy if one doesn't know the issue. (Much worse if one is the issue)
2w1 5w4 9w1 MelancholicPhlegmatic
Moonsoul
4
Moonsoul
20 United States INFP 259 134C
This comment is private.
Location: Rayman
2w1 5w4 9w1 MelancholicPhlegmatic
Moonsoul
2
Moonsoul
20 United States INFP 259 134C
This comment is private.
Rayman
4
I was wondering what you guys think hell is.
Personal and uncomfortable topic, I know.
But I wanted to ask anyway.
My hell would be empty.
A big nothing.
No light, no shapes, no sound, no touch.
A great big nothing where I am nothing and everything else is nothing.
This is why people talking about their experiences in sensory deprivation chambers scare the hell (har) out of me. But it's appealing to so many people.
Why is nothing so attractive?

It's what the buddhists strive for.
Nirvana.
I don't understand Buddhism, because their "heaven"
is my hell.
Anybody here beleive in Nirvana?
Can you help me understand what you beleive?
Rayman
4
Iris isn't dead.
I moved on, I almost forgot about her.
Now I find out she isn't dead after all.
Should I go see her?
I thought I might have been falling in love with her.
I thought she was dead.
What is this going to do to me and Meghan?
Iris isn't dead.
And I have no idea what to think now.