Chance Glance!

Nekocchi
22 Slovakia INFP
A girl who got lost in a nightmare and, using her own blood, she tried to change it into paradise.
----☆----
I’m shy, awkward and clumsy. Short somehow-human who loves to hug people but is mostly too insecure to do so. So, cuddles dogs and cats instead.

Likes

SnugglesSoft thingsBunniesPlushiesFantasy

Dislikes

AggressionResponsibilitiesCrowdsConfusionJudging

on 3602 Roots

3602 Thoughts

IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
5
Juraventure 19 United States INFP 592 24C
I feel like I can not draw anything. Well um... I am drawing, just not up to what I like. Though I am maintaining my commitment to drawing everyday, they are dumb doodles that feels as if I've done nothing. And I prefer if I didn't continue at this state because I don't want to waste paper. I wouldn't call it Art Block because I feel that refers to not knowing what to draw. I usually would resort to just drawing figures over the internets. But I somehow feel like my skill has diminished in some way.

Maybe it's just me not putting in enough time to draw since I'm taking only 30 seconds of the day to do a thing. But the reason I do it because I don't know. I usually draw when I'm alone and there is no sound bothering me. And I guess just being depressed is having an effect too.

I did go over to a friend's house impromptu because I was already away from the house for reasons that are off topic. He has been a long time artist that I met in Middle School. I was looking through his drawings and I really like it. I feel like he has a better base, a starter, than me because I guess if your that young you just doodle anything. It ranges from a multitude of genre: Medieval, Apocalyptic, Steam Punk, Cyberpunk, SciFi, Feudal Japan, Modern. And I guess the underlying theme of all of it is some sort of war or military thing. A whole slew of random characters or fanart of some.

Hm.... I asked him what goes in his head when he draws. He told me he usually stops thinking and just sort of does it. I'm uh.. just sort of thinking of drawings that I've done and uh... Yeah... The drawings that I'm relaxed are the ones that I like. Maybe I'm just too stressed out.
IEI 5w6 9w1 2w3 SxSp RLUAI AIS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Juraventure
3
Juraventure
19 United States INFP 592 24C
I can not sleep. I'm just being depressed and I dunno.. eh... thoughts? Well I cried of me thinking of things I'm really attached to though it's probably been a long time since I've seen it. Um... So I thought to maybe write something down just to get stuff out of my head. As I was trying to log in I couldn't get my password right. I was doing the usual hand motions for it but it didn't feel right. I dunno... I got scared but it's a good thing I write my password down that I learned from past mistakes.

How do I communicate to what my thoughts are saying? eh.... I shouldn't worry about it and uh... just write...um... I think I want to talk about friends and I dunno... eh... sorry for all the vague ellipsi? eplipseses? my pauses and at times certain sentences not making sense.

um...I guess sitting here for a while at this part... I guess this whole entire thought is on some basis of attachment. Friends okay uh... I don't consider many people my friend but when I do there has to be some sort of emotional attachment from what I'm looking at. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy people that don't have this connection. Just... maybe in this other category of friend that people most see people. um... I feel bad that someone can care for me but I don't feel the same back and then I could build this friendship for a while and then some how I feel like I screwed up or the person doesn't want anything to do with me. I don't know how many times this happened to me but the feeling never gets old.

um... I'm just wondering about me and attaching to people and things. It's like how I function yet at times I feel like it's a bad thing. Me uh... trying to grab on to things that is not permanent. I think I really want something that I can have. Something I can call mine. Just wanting to go against like the truths of life and all that life lesson. Wishing that these something... of life... Wanting to go beyond to human life??? I don't know. Is this an immature mentality to have? I feel lost yet I feel that I always get a guide but then I need to do it alone because eh... sorry for confusing thought.
EII 1w2 4w5 6w5 SxSo RLOAN AIE PhlegmaticMelancholic
Smirk
4
Smirk
18 Mexico ISFJ 146 11C
When someone one cares for has an issue, and one 'knows' they have it, and one has asked them about it, but they do not tell one, it scares one. It scares one because it can mean two things. Either they do not trust one enough to tell them their issue, or one 'is' the issue. All I wish is for her to be happy, but it's kinda hard to help her be happy if one doesn't know the issue. (Much worse if one is the issue)
2w1 5w4 9w1 MelancholicPhlegmatic
Moonsoul
4
Moonsoul
19 United States INFP 259 134C
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Location: Rayman
2w1 5w4 9w1 MelancholicPhlegmatic
Moonsoul
2
Moonsoul
19 United States INFP 259 134C
This comment is private.
Rayman
4
I was wondering what you guys think hell is.
Personal and uncomfortable topic, I know.
But I wanted to ask anyway.
My hell would be empty.
A big nothing.
No light, no shapes, no sound, no touch.
A great big nothing where I am nothing and everything else is nothing.
This is why people talking about their experiences in sensory deprivation chambers scare the hell (har) out of me. But it's appealing to so many people.
Why is nothing so attractive?

It's what the buddhists strive for.
Nirvana.
I don't understand Buddhism, because their "heaven"
is my hell.
Anybody here beleive in Nirvana?
Can you help me understand what you beleive?
Rayman
4
Iris isn't dead.
I moved on, I almost forgot about her.
Now I find out she isn't dead after all.
Should I go see her?
I thought I might have been falling in love with her.
I thought she was dead.
What is this going to do to me and Meghan?
Iris isn't dead.
And I have no idea what to think now.
EII 6w5 1w2 2w1 SxSp SAI MelancholicPhlegmatic
Vivid Melody
5
This comment is private.
EII 2w1 9w1 7w6 SpSo rLUAI IAS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Talindra
5
Talindra
25 France INFP 297 229C
This comment is private.
EII 2w1 9w1 7w6 SpSo rLUAI IAS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Talindra
2
Talindra
25 France INFP 297 229C
I haven't been on the site for months because my landlord and landlady made no effort with the Internet, and my neighbor and I had no access for 4 months. But it doesn't matter.
My neighbor got a subscription for us to share, and I've have had the Internet for 3 days now. I'm posting a short Thought right now, instead of the long return Thought I had planned for this week end. But it doesn't matter.

What matters is that, right here, right now, I feel sick to my guts, my stomach has narrowed, I wanna puke, I hate everything and I wish I could just snap my fingers and be teleported right into the life I dream about in Los Angeles, in a decent house, with good friends, a wife, and a career as a professional scriptwriter and director without a worry in the world, in a country that's mostly safe. But I can't, now, can I? And I'm stuck here in France, in this crappy country in which I don't own much, but it would be enough, if I hadn't just been stripped away from my sense of safety.
And, yes, I'm definitely referring to the brand new multiple, simultaneous, terrorist attacks we've been facing in Paris tonight. F.U.C.K.


My family's fine, by the way, they all live in other regions or in the suburbs, and, as far as I know for now, all of my Parisian friends and friends who live in the suburbs like me but might have been out tonight seem to be fine (no one dead, no one wounded, HOPEFULLY!).
So it definitely could have been worse, you know... but it's just that... it's horrible. All those people died, we don't know why yet (I mean, while I obviously disagree with the Charlie Hebdo killings, at least, there was some logic behind those murders, you know?), we don't know what's going on, how many dead, whether the army got rid of all of the assailants yet, we know a little, but not that much, and not knowing anything for sure is terrifying. The great unknown...


Plus, there's this whole state of emergency the President has declared, it's extremely serious, and this feels very scary as well.
I guess I'm a little angry, very disgusted, and quite scared as well, although I'm not scared for my own life since I live in the suburbs and didn't here any gunfire or anything like some of my friends who live in Paris, and since, as of now, none of my friends or family members seems dead or wounded, I think everybody's fine, but it's still scary.
We're not safe from gunfire or explosions in our own country anymore, attacks have occurred, but we don't know why just yet, and, also, we can't possibly have any idea of what the future may hold in terms of future attacks.