Chance Glance!

Nekocchi
23 Slovakia INFP
A girl who got lost in a nightmare and, using her own blood, she tried to change it into paradise.
----☆----
I’m shy, awkward and clumsy. Short somehow-human who loves to hug people but is mostly too insecure to do so. So, cuddles dogs and cats instead.

Likes

CuddlesDoctor WhoNight skyBunniesPhysical affection

Dislikes

ResponsibilitiesConfusionJerksAnxietyShouting

on 3608 Roots

3608 Thoughts

Rayman
2
It's been two years since I last checked in here.
Whoa, I forgot how cringey my profile picture is.

Things suck. I'm falling into self destructive habits and self isolation.
I've developed this weird self punishment thing where I don't eat, or sleep because I feel that I don't deserve it.

I never really used to hate myself. There were a lot of things I didn't like about me, mainly my looks, but I always felt comfortable with who I was as a person.

Now that's flipped. I've grown up. I'm happy with how I look, but I don't like myself.

I realized that the clever, erudite and "mature" persona I built up for myself only worked as a child.
A kid with a cynical attitude worthy of Sam Vimes is only funny and charming when you're a kid.

Now I'm struggling to figure out who I am, and who I want to be.

I've been watching Community from Dan Harmon.
Abed, one of the characters said:
"When you really know who you are and what you like about yourself, changing for others is no big deal."

But I don't know who I am and what I like about myself besides my hair. Great. Super. I like my curls, but I'm a disgusting, lazy and unreliable jerk.

And when I change for the people around me, like my dad, I feel... Wrong.

I miss this place. I miss you guys.
I want to go back to being who I was. But that "Me" doesn't work anymore. Everyone hates him. So I don't know...

Who the hell do I want to be?
No one cares. Work faster! Stop falling asleep in class! Stop being such a downer. Stop being so self destructive.

I don't know I might look back at this post in another two years and laugh about it.

Cheers everybody!
RLOeI MelancholicSanguine
Prabe
0
Does anyone knows where's pseudowolf? I just want to make sure whether he is okay or not. haven't heard anything for years...
SEI RLOAN PhlegmaticMelancholic
Nekocchi
3
I know nobody is really around anymore, but I feel like I need to say this here, even if it would fall into nothingness and disappear as an unheard echo...:

Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you'll have nice remaining days of this year, and even nicer next year.

I hope you're all doing well. <3
SEI 5w6 9w1 3w2 SxSp RLOEI IAS MelancholicPhlegmatic
Nirvanesthesia
7
Well, like everyone else has said, I do miss this community. I can't believe it's been three years since I joined. It was a wonderful place to express one's thoughts. Haven't found anything quite like this ever since.
IEE 2w3 7w8 9w8 RCUAI ISA PhlegmaticSanguine
Shinsoo
5
Shinsoo
21 United Kingdom INFP 279 22C
Well... It's a shame our profile's were never re-enabled. This site had some great potential, I think, with its soothing atmosphere (as Colanopy said) and pleasant populace. :P

But pseudo moved on, so there's not much we can do about it. I've resigned myself to visiting once every few weeks, when I get nostalgic. ^^;

I'll also be on tumblr, and discord, and various other sites that can't really compare to pseudo's sites. So... feel free to send me a message there? Hope you all have happy, good lives!
Eisen Herz
8
This place is dead, but in a way. That makes it appealing. Because death is as beautiful as life.

I am here, to remember. To review my past posts, and know who I once was. Because I have forgotten. The saddest thing is; I once feared never being remembered. I viewed it as a Sin to forget people, to forget the things they've done or told me. Yet, I forgot myself some where a long the way.

My greatest wish right now, would be to go back through my life, and write down everything people told me. Remember everything Humanity was, to me. If I could hold all the memories of Humanity, so nothing, so no person, is forgotten or left behind. I would, love nothing more.

This post is a recollection, a statement, and a pilgrimage to who I once was, as Human being.

To those who remember me, and stumble upon this place once more; I am no longer intelligent. I am no longer creative. I have no more artistic skills. I have no more poetry. I am no longer strong willed. I am nothing that I was once before.

But today, I have wisdom. I have experience, from building my life, even if it is gone today. I shall use that wisdom, and that experience, to build something new. Tomorrow.

Thus, I shall let go of this place once and for all. A final echo on the wind. My only wish, is that you do the same. But never forget the brilliant lights of those people, you met here. Never forget.
6w5 4w5 1w9 RLOEI CholericMelancholic
Fallen Lily
6
"This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it."
Source: ∞ LINK ∞
EII 6w5 1w2 2w1 RCOAI IAS PhlegmaticMelancholic
Colanopy
5
Colanopy
19 Australia INFJ 612 28C
Hello, hi!!

Is anyone still attached to this site? I still have this bookmarked on my new tab page and check every so often...
It feel like it still retains it's soothing, comfortable environment..
SEI RLOAN PhlegmaticMelancholic
Nekocchi
10
Stray steps and an abandoned, quiet place.

Somehow, for some reason, I keep coming back here. Without saying a word, with an incoherent hope for... what?

Maybe it is one of those 'old habits die hard' things. Maybe it's because I poured out a piece of me here, and now I will forever be drawn to return. Maybe I miss all the people and their genuinity that surrounded this place. (And maybe it's maybelline.)

This was a safe-house, a light over the stormy seas, calling forth the people weary of outside life and the weights in their soul.

A lot in my life has changed - or at least it feels like that. I've changed. I'm still a short person riddled with fears, who has no idea how to adult and makes many mistakes. Yet, I'm different than I was when I actively used this place. And I would like to hope that the other guys who came here, the troubled people, got that bit of a change, too. That small push towards a lighter place.



Things aren't infinitely better, but I'd like to think that my way of looking at them is clearer and a tad brighter, if nothing else. And... it feels good to know that I am no longer in that pitch black place, crying every night, head filled with images of suicide.

Sun is shining outside, and things hurt and make me scared, but I will be alright.

I hope you will be, too.
Rayman
4
I figured it out. Soul Tome on Facebook is up!
Woot!
It's a closed group so you'll have to send a request, but I check Fb a couple of times a day so it shouldn't take long.